In February of 2021, our home was ravaged by the frigid cold that stuck nearly all of Texas. Barely anything was salvageable – countless pipes burst inside of the walls, letting the water run rampant in the home. Not a single room was spared. Floors, walls, virtually everything got hit with water. Luckily, we acted swiftly enough to save some walls and ceilings of the house as well as most of our furniture. But the house as a whole was far from well. It was tarnished – and it was heartbreaking. A decade of living was demolished within a matter of hours. But, we would not let this be the end. We pressed on, and we were determined to repair and rebuild better than ever before. Now, we have what is known as a “Garage-Apartment,” a secondary living space akin to a two-story studio apartment. It is connected to our main house via a breezeway. And by the Grace of God, this area was entirely untouched. No damaged walls, furniture, pipes, or anything. It was as if nothing had happened there. This gave us hope that we at least had a comfortable place to live while repairs were being made. And so, the rebuilding process began. Six months later, and after countless hours of labor and hardships, we moved back into our home. Our home was now incredibly immaculate and infinitely better than our old one. Almond wood vinyl flooring, wainscoting along the walls, and many more beautiful upgrades transformed the home into something truly special. It has a warm, inviting, and classy atmosphere. This, indeed, was a blessing in disguise.

I say all these things…yet I still feel so…empty. Like there’s a hole in my very core. See, I was at Texas A&M working away as a young college student during the rebuilding process. I was away from home…but I had no home to go back to. I will admit, when I first heard the news that our house was hit hard, it was devastating. I couldn’t even imagine how my parents felt – they had to endure all of this. For about six months, I was on my own, doing whatever I could to stay well. I helped out wherever I could – I was the one who helped pick the main color scheme of the house, pick out some furniture, and many other minor things. My parents would fill me in on what was happening around the house, which I’m thankful for. But it wasn’t until early May that I saw the house for myself. It was surreal seeing everything in person. Our house looked like an abandoned shelter, with an exposed wooden frame and everything. I’m so thankful that everything is going well now…but those six months were undoubtedly painful. Again, I can’t even begin to imagine how my parents felt during all of this. But as for me…I’m no longer the same man I was before The Freeze.

Imagine feeling like you’re trapped in purgatory for months on end, alone and stuck with your own thoughts, and given the promise that things will be better sooner than expected, only to have reality come in and decimate that Hope. It was depressing. It wasn’t easy. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. I tend to get locked inside of my own head, dwelling on endless thoughts for far too long, and with no one to help outside of a few friends and family who vaguely understood what was really happening to me, it ate me up inside. I am beginning to open up more and more now, which has helped, but…I just hope my words haven’t fallen on deaf ears. This is a fight that I must face with the help of God, for we are the only ones who can truly resolve this. The unconditional support I’ve received has been a blessing. It is a great comfort knowing that I am surrounded by so many people who care for me and only wish the best for me. But, even still, words can only carry you so far. Only I can truly fix this. Only I can remove the darkness that has enveloped me with the power of the Holy Spirit. Only I can say and believe that all will be well and that I am a wonderful young man with great potential. And the day that I truly, truly believe this…my whole world will change. There is still something that lingers in my mind: What is holding me back? Is it…myself? Am I the one getting in my own way? Have I fallen so far, that I only have myself to blame now?

The truth of the matter is, well…I feel alone. Distant from everyone, even my friends, who I talk with daily. I often feel like I’m left behind, and there are so many things that I wish I’d said or done, but instead, I chose to sit in silence. Cold, dead silence. Countless opportunities were wasted due to my cowardice and fear of the unknown. What a fool I am. What a fool I am to think this way. If something takes me out of my comfort zone, then so be it. I’ll eventually grow stronger from it.

I ultimately believe that this is my biggest flaw. I’m a coward. I refuse to take leaps of faith, try something new, or anything similar because it doesn’t make me feel safe. I can’t just sit around and do nothing when trying something new. I have to put forth effort into it. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want that. I don’t want to work on something hard. I just want to sit back and work on whatever I’m comfortable with in this nice, safe little bubble I’ve created. I believe this is because I’ve honestly had my fill with changes. I’ve had enough of things going wrong, working all the time, and fixing things for what seems like an eternity. I want my peace back. I want my happiness back.

But…even still…I know this is wrong. I know that being idle is the worst thing I can do. It will only make things worse. I know that firsthand. “Idle hands are the Devil’s Workshop,” as they say. The struggles, the hardships, and even the sadness prove that we’re real. That we’re human. The sadness makes us yearn for something more. Hope, Love, Joy, Happiness, all things that make life worth living. Because without that, there is nothing. There is no point to existence. Hope and Light are what keep the world afloat. And it’s what’s keeping me afloat as well. Because without the core of Light that I have within me, and a belief that one day pain and suffering will be no more, I honestly believe I would be a lost soul forever. No worldly hope, no worldly thing could save me. And I am so thankful that this is not the case for me. I’m thankful that I believe in Hope, and that The Lord will make all things well in the end.

I know my family has had countless struggles, many more than I can count, and some of which I may not even be aware of. I believe that one of the Cardinal Virtues in my family is Perseverance. Our steadfast nature and will to overcome anything is something that I have rarely seen in anything or anyone before. It is a gift, and I believe it is something that we need to survive in this current day and age. Perseverance, Loyalty, Honesty, and Kindness are the Virtues of my family. These are the things we need to embody in order to survive here on this Earth. Again…unfortunately, these are things that I rarely see in others.

This world, at its core, is dark. It is evil, tainted by malice, selfishness, and empty promises of satisfaction. This must be combated with Good. Goodness, Patience, Love, Joy, all of these things are what truly matter. This world will corrupt you. It will take your core and fill it with all of these desires and things that seem delectable but will do nothing but hurt you in the end. You must learn to think for yourself. Become your own person, and do not be easily swayed by the world’s desires. This…this is how we fight.

I am thankful that I am gifted with this wealth of knowledge and wisdom. And I hope and pray that one day, I will teach others these things and much more, and restore Hope to the world. I may fall once again, and Lord knows I’ve done that more times than I can count, but I will never stay down. So, may the Lord guide me in this life, and may all things be made well through His Will. May the Lord bless this world we live in, now and forevermore. Amen.